she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
