Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
