Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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