You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
