I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
