Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
