he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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