Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
