dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
