It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
