i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
