She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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