so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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