He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
