So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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