i permit you to call me
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
