the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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