i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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