you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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