I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
