eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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