She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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