oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
