I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
