You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
