There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
