"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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