we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
