Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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