Who did Billy Mays play for?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
