You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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