I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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