You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just had sex bonerless
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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