and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
