Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
