capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
