Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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