people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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