My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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