Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
