kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
