my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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