I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
