nut hugger
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
