i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Come share oat with me in your robe
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
