This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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