i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Randomize
