The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
