I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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