i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
