If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
