No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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