Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
