i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
