I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
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