can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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