I love black thongs
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
