If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
