Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
