Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
